Why do middle school students have a “love for teachers”
We encountered a case in psychological counseling: a 15-year-old female middle school student was impressed by the character, talent, and manners of her language teacher. She was obsessed with love, but she never adored her inner emotions to her.The teacher confessed that it did not cause harm to anyone.
But when people occasionally discovered her privacy from her diary, the “third party”, “bad heart”, “psychological metamorphosis” and other evil words flowed around, and there was a reprimand and mockery.
She couldn’t bear the tenderness and fragility, and had to seek suicide by suicide.
Similar to this phenomenon that middle school students are obsessed with accomplished heterosexual teachers, we have encountered many times in the practice of psychological education in middle schools, which is a more sensitive and difficult problem in education.
为何年少的她们会倾慕老师 美国心理学家赫洛克从发展的角度，把青少年性意识的形成分成４个阶段：疏远异性的反感期――牛犊恋时期――接近异性的狂热期――正式的Romantic love period.
Herlock referred to the calflove of adolescents who were sexually germinating, and their affection for and love for a particular elderly person.
Middle school students’ “love for teachers” is a manifestation of the love of the calf. This phenomenon is often described in literary works and film and television works by Chinese and foreign writers such as Qiong Yao and Zweig.
A Japanese psychologist has conducted a retrospective survey of college students to find out whether they had a love affair with teachers of the opposite sex over ordinary teachers and students in middle school. A considerable number of students, especially girls, gave affirmative answers.
From the perspective of adolescents’ psychological development, the “love teacher complex” generally occurs in some middle school students who are in their adolescence.
After entering adolescence, middle school students began to become interested in and pay attention to the opposite sex, resulting in a hazy sexual psychological experience.
This psychological maturity and desire to approach the opposite sex, due to physical and mental development and changes in status at home and school, middle school students enter a “psychological weaning period” eager to leave the protection of their parents in order to seek independence.
Due to the characteristics of the teacher’s profession, he gets along with the students day and night, and is more affectionate and deep with the students.
If at this time an outstanding teacher who is talented and charismatic, respects and understands their independent will, and loves students with great enthusiasm and guides them into life, some middle school students who are in their young age,It is possible to have a subtle feeling for a heterosexual teacher in the subconscious, mixed with the subtle emotions of trust and worship, attachment and admiration, and then lead to the occurrence of “love teacher complex”.
The “love teacher complex” is a normal phenomenon that may occur in the development of sexual consciousness among adolescents, and it cannot be simply regarded as “perverted psychology” without distinction.
The Psychological Characteristics of the “Love Teacher Complex” 1.
There is a certain positive potential motivation. Generally speaking, the “teacher complex” of middle school students mostly belongs to an innocent spiritual personality.
It has been observed that heterosexual teachers who are obsessed with middle school students are often those who excel in grace, manners, wisdom, and personality, and who have poured out selfless love on students and are admired and admired by students.
From a deep psychological analysis, the middle school students ‘love for the opposite sex teacher and“ hero worship ”are essentially a natural manifestation of their inner self-improvement motives. They often produce an urgent intention of self-improvement and show a higher level of progress.Positiveness of heart and action.
For example, some students are full of enthusiasm in their studies, and strive to achieve outstanding results, so as to arouse the favor and attention of these teachers; some students hope to apply to the Teachers College in the future, accompanied by their favorite teachers to engage in education for life.
It can be argued that the “teacher complex” of middle school students reflects the youth’s innocence of beautiful things, and in a sense, has a certain positive potential motivation.
有闭锁心理 观察发现，具有“恋师情结”者大多具有闭锁心理，他们极少向父母、师长或同伴吐露内心的隐秘，这和一般中学生中流行的追星族的张扬、炫耀和相互模仿行为有Very different.
Due to traditional ethical concepts and social public opinion, people often adopt an unacceptable attitude towards romances with disparate age, ability, and social status. This invisible pressure has forced many middle school students to hide their emotions in their hearts, or to diary aloneTalk and taste, showing a severe sense of lock-in.
They often over-idealize their admiration object, shyly say it, and fear to express it, fearing that their rash and careless actions will cause dissatisfaction and resentment from each other.
As a result, most students with this kind of emotion develop into a fierce, religious, and unrealistic unrequited love.
This fierce ideological struggle between reason and emotion, fantasy and reality, impulse and depression often arouses their anxiety and has a certain negative impact on the normal school life and mental health of middle school students.
It is more common in girls. Scholars believe that there are certain gender differences in the “love teacher complex”, and most of them are young girls in their youthful period.
This may be due to the deep and delicate emotional requirements of adolescent girls, their high emotional susceptibility, and their desire to be understood and protected.
Moreover, most of the introverted middle school students have this kind of emotions, especially those who are socially maladaptive, lack family warmth and love, and have a lonely personality.
Most “love teacher complexes” are difficult to fulfill. One is heterosexual love at the same age. Information and emotion are easily felt by the other party. The relationship is clear and frequent contact, and it is easy to turn the love emotion into love behavior.
The “love teacher complex” is mostly a kind of spiritual unrequited love. Teachers who are admired are often unaware of it. Even if they are aware of it occasionally, they can only deal with it with a prudent and decent attitude.
So as time goes by, this unreinforced emotion will gradually fade away, leaving only a ray of beautiful and warm memories.
Secondly, with the increase of experience and the expansion of the scope of social interaction, young people’s ability to evaluate themselves and others has gradually improved. When they reach a certain age, they no longer worship idols as blindly as they did in the past.Some inevitable personality weaknesses.
At this time, many teenagers began to be able to reasonably judge the huge and even insurmountable differences between themselves and the other party in various aspects.
Under the influence of various factors, their original infatuation will gradually cool down as their self-consciousness matures.
Be Kind to “Love Teacher” Students 1.Respecting the students’ emotions The “teacher complex” is a normal staged psychological phenomenon that a small number of adolescents in adolescence may produce.
Moreover, because of the closed nature, the “love teacher complex” objectively rarely causes harm to the collective or others.
However, excessive emotional stress suppression and continuous inner conflict often easily lead to individual self-psychological disorders, cause certain mental symptoms or pathological personality, and have a negative impact on adolescents’ mental health.
Therefore, teachers need to understand the emotions of students, focusing on individual counseling, and protecting the diversity and self-esteem of students.
At the same time, it is necessary to combine positive education with suggestive guidance to help young people correctly understand and reasonably handle their emotions.
2.To improve students’ evaluation ability, it is necessary to continuously improve the ability of adolescents to self-evaluate and evaluate others. This is an effective means to reduce and eliminate the occurrence of “love teacher complex”.
At the same time, teachers need to pay more attention to young people with poor identification skills and low social experience, to help them rationally understand society and life, and to prevent them from mistakenly treating older people with bad morality due to cognitive biases and illusions.Worship of “hero” worship, even being deceived, causing bad consequences.
Increasing opportunities to interact with peers Lack of collective contact and poor communication with peers are one of the objective factors that trigger the “love of teachers”.
If adolescents are addicted to the “lover complex” for a long time, it is difficult to extricate themselves. Under the wing of an idol, it is difficult to eliminate the alternation and inferiority of people, and it is easy to cause difficulties in future interaction with peers.
Parents and teachers should give children more opportunities for group activities and transform them to interact more with their peers.
Exploiting the potential motivation of the “lover complex” Teachers should pay attention to guide students to transfer this beautiful emotion and strong motivation in the pursuit of ideal self in the growth process to a more relaxed spiritual pursuit, stimulate their enthusiasm for learning, and gradually realizeThe smooth transformation of personal emotions allows their hearts and emotions to be sublimated.
In a certain sense, with the correct education and guidance, the disappearance and transformation of the youth’s “love teacher complex” is tantamount to a spiritual baptism of the mind and also a youth’s transcendence and rediscovery of the self.